"Avengers: Infinity War" Review - That Happened

When I was little, my family went to Six Flags: Hurricane Harbor, and I had a lot of fun in that park. Towards the end of the day, I found a black tubed slide that looked like a blast, but I didn’t realize that slide wasn’t for my age. I went on it, and it was fast, pitch-dark, scary as hell, and when I landed, I got a bit bruised and water all up in my nose and I was shaking. Excluding the nose part, that’s how “Avengers: Infinity War” feels. I am still processing what I witnessed last night and I’m not okay. There are many reasons why which I honestly can’t say, so let’s take it step by step. Because the perfect as hell acting, effects, action sequences, and humor, you can be rest assured are perfectly fine.

This adult water slide is so intense and crazy that by the end, you’re just exhausted, confused, thrilled, happy, and heartbroken. It’s not my favorite Marvel movie because I could never be able to rewatch it. It’s probably because the story is so razor thin so there’s room for as many battles and shock value as you can possibly imagine. There are so many things going on that are very well told, but some they don’t come back to for a very long time, which annoyed me a bit. While the fight scenes are awesome and so well done, like I said, it’s just leaves you overwhelmed. Thankfully though, this film throws so many well written curveballs you will need icepacks to heal your body for 6 months. It takes you on probably 20 different roads and all end up being smashed by Thanos, who ends up being one of my favorite villains of all time. Thanos’ backstory is very well written throughout out the film…for a brief few moments. Then he continues to screw with your head, with the story, and with every character he encounters, and I could not get enough of it. He causes so much carnage and torture that you wonder how in the world do you have even the slightest bit of sympathy for him. There has only been one other villain in all my years of watching/reading entertainment that has been as villainous as Thanos. And you know what sucks? I can’t reveal that character, because it would unravel the entire movie. So I will have to wait until Ant Man and the Wasp to reveal who I’m talking about.

Have I said too much? I don’t even think I can go on from here without saying something I’ll regret. But in conclusion, this film left me speechless. Disney got rid of the “Part 1 and Part 2” for marketing purposes, but mark my words, this is a part 1 movie that will leave you in a fit of rage when you find out you’ll have to wait until next year to see the second part. Whatever thoughts and predictions you have going into this blockbuster, throw them away. They are trash. They don’t matter. Because you are not ready for this. The other night, I watched David Blaine sow his mouth shut and throw up a frog. At least you could skip the frightening parts in that.

Two Nebs Up!